A poem from a lost girl

If I was more like her it wouldn’t be so bad.
If I was who you came to see and the best thing you’ve ever had.
If I was the one with whom precious moments were shared,
then I wouldn’t feel so alone like a piece isn’t there.
If we had the bond you search so desperately to find,
there could be hope for us instead of wasted time.
If you would only step up and be the person you’re supposed to be,
maybe I would realize I’m enough and there’s nothing wrong with me.

Gloria

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When the birds chirp or there’s a butterfly I think you’re there

 

 When the sun shines brightly and the wind lightly blows through my hair

 

 If I see water I think of you and how much you loved to be on the lake

 

 You’d cast a line and take your time sitting calmly you’d wait

 

 If I hear a familiar song on the radio your face fills my mind

 

 I let it take me back to the good old days while my thoughts rewind

 

 I smell your scent on that old t shirt as if it was just worn

 

 I hold it close wishing you were here because you were so quickly torn

 

 I hope one day when it’s my time you’ll open the pearly gates

 

 Until then I’ll look at your pictures and I will patiently wait

 

Shutting Up Self Doubt = Plenty of Word Vomit

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There are some days that it hits me. The words flow out of me like word vomit…yes that was a Mean Girls reference.

 

But then there are the times, like today, that I cant seem to stay focused. I ask myself why that is… The answer consists of a minor case of the “What Ifs” . Those dreadful mind blocks of hesitation that are somehow making their merry way through my head. They are there, along with the other 5,000 voices of characters that I haven’t had time to write down.

I used to have a bad habit of letting my mind constrict my heart. I would let the constant self doubt and what others would say to me pull me down and at times and completely change my path. Today is a fine example of old habits dying hard…(sigh).

I cant escape the many questions I keep asking myself, such as…

1) Will I self-publish my book, or will somebody else do it?

2) Is it long enough?

3) Are my characters relatable?

4) Commas…run-on sentences…spelling… Lord help me!

5) (And finally the most pressing question..) Will anybody actually read it?

I know the answer to the last question is a hell yes. I have had so many people support my writing journey that sometimes I find myself in tears with my heart practically bursting out of my chest with happiness. But with the fact that the ending of my book is fast approaching (and I haven’t came up with a title yet )my mind is filling with these questions. A few I know the answers too and some I do not. I am doing the best that I can and taking steps to shut up that nagging voice in my head. But as I said before old habits die hard.

I do however, believe that I will not fail at this and I don’t have a backup plan. For all of you that know me personally you know that I always have a plan… That just shows that I have extreme faith in my writing and storytelling abilities. But now that the manuscript is almost done I cant concentrate because the finish line is coming up quickly.

So if there are any other aspiring authors out there please feel free to leave helpful tips and suggestions. I will take any knowledge about publishing or editing that you will provide. It would be so much easier if my brain had an off switch…

 

I Need To Talk To The Person In Charge Of Changing Humans Into Dogs

I absolutely love this! I couldn’t agree more!

Half and Half

I went out with my roommates last night and drank too much wine.  Story of my life.

Earlier this morning, I watched this video to help cure my hangover and take my mind off the fact that I have to sit in a rolly chair for the next eight hours and stare at my computer screen.

And then I realized… I’m so jealous of dogs.

Forget girls with nice hair, girls who can plow through three bacon cheeseburgers and not gain a pound, girls who have their dream job before age twenty-five, girls (and boys) with independently wealthy families that get to exclusively shop at Whole Foods. Forget all of them.

I want to be a dog.

Aside from the fact that they get to know one another by smelling butts, being a dog is pretty awesome.  I guess I could also do without the whole eating bark flavored…

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End of the Road

When you apologize you have the face of an angel that’s hard to say no to

You cry a little and tell white lies that make me want to believe you

But how can you hurt me so badly time and time again

Expecting me to crawl back for more like we are the best of friends

I can forgive you yes, but I am never going to be able to lock it away

The times you cared less when I needed you most and I cried as you were speechless with nothing to say

I would have followed you anywhere you were my world but you left me here to stay

You watched me wave as you ran from me and all of the lingering pain

You’re Still The One

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I feel like I did way back in the beginning.

When everything was brand new and I couldn’t stop grinning.

You still make me smile and laugh out loud.

 I am still proud to be your biggest fan in the crowd.

You make me a better person, boy you make me shine.

Your love is addicting and your kiss as sweet as wine.

You’re my lover and best friend; I have eyes for you alone.

It doesn’t matter how long it’s been your heart will always be my home.