What are you THANKFUL for?

Today is Thanksgiving Eve which means different things to different people. For me, it means cooking with family and drinking. I find that I prepare my best meal with a little bit of wine in my hand. Or most times the whole bottle. ( Don’t judge me)

I wanted to take a moment to tell you all that I am extremely thankful for this year. Though I have had some unfortunate events take place they have been overshadowed by the good ones.
1. My husband, family, and friends.
2.My first book being published.
3.The ability to work for myself and others.
4.Opportunities!
4. For being healthy.
5. The future and what it has in store for me.

Really though.

These are a few of the most prominent blessings in the forefront of my mind. I will leave you to ponder the question…
What are you thankful for?

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New sound, catchy writing, better music

Let me tell you something.
I haven’t been a Taylor fan since ” Tim McGraw ” but I’ve heard parts of her new cd and became interested so I bought it.

I was not disappointed, I was incredibly impressed.

Besides the song “Shake it Off” (which I am not a fan of but find myself repeating the chorus over and over again in my mind) the album is very mature and breezy. I use breezy in terms of….
Driving down the road with the windows down blasting the radio and feeling incredibly at ease with ones self. (My new word breezy!)

Her ability to transform her sound and writing style resulted in great material.
There are a couple of songs that brought me back down memory lane. Then a few that made me aspire to the future.
I have nothing bad to say… It was worth every dollar 😉

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You and I

If it’s only you that I have in this life I’m satisfied.
If it’s only us at the end it’s been worth the ride.
To say you’re not enough is a lie.
If it’s only you and I.

You’ve proved yourself to me time and time again.
When I’m down in the dark you always grab my hand.
Life is a bitch and so much of that is true.
But I can say it’s been beautiful beside you.

So let’s see where this will go, hang on tight.
You and I can make it.
It’s all worth the fight.

Our love is strong, patient and kind.
If it’s just you and me in this life I know I’ll be just fine.

Letting Go

I’m here to let you know that I’m letting go.

It’s not that I don’t love you, I will love you until the end of my days .

It’s not that I resent you, you were my blessing in so many ways.

I need to move on and let the past go.

Resentment, loneliness, and depression is all I seem to know.

You’re safe now in the arms of The Lord so please wait for me.

I’ll be there someday and we can finally be a family.

I have to do this now, I have to for me.

I’ll miss you forever and love you for always, my baby you will always be.

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Here We Are Again

Today really isn’t a great day.

I woke up with expectations. That is a problem with me.

I have a habit of setting expectations high for others but what is worse is when I set them too high for myself. What I think is easily attainable has been proving to me consistently that it isn’t. Then leading to my defeatist attitude and my “Who gives a shit.” slogan which is becoming a huge part of my every day. This is not a good thing.

I don’t enjoy censoring myself so I will just come clean with what it is I am describing. I’m trying to get pregnant again. This month is yet another one of those painful times reminding me that my efforts are going unrewarded. I tell myself there is always next month and that I won’t cry but the pep talks aren’t working. I cried and as of now am looking at my future months with a whole other mindset. Let me tell you it’s not a good one.

I realize I’m writing sporadically and sharing many intimate details of my mind’s inner workings. Sometimes doing so helps even if it means baring my soul to a complete stranger. I find comfort in those times and many other things people find uncomfortable. This is why I am choosing to post this on my blog. I’m not looking for a pat on the back or anything in particular. I just want to vent in a space that is my own.

I’m scared because I don’t know what life is planning on handing me. I also don’t know if there is something wrong. I hate feeling this way. My writing has been affected and my overall daily routines. I find myself obsessing over tiny details and every single pain my body feels. I had no idea that I would ever become this person but I am her and I don’t like it.

I guess what I’m saying is I’m throwing in the towel on trying to track everything. So far forcing natures hand hasn’t been working out very well for me. I figure if I put this out in the universe it will get the memo.

I’m going to look forward to the holidays, work, and writing. I’m also going to enjoy my glasses of wine. Putting my life on hold isn’t helping. It’s only stopping me from living.  My goal is to have another book out within a year or so as of now I will focus on that in the future.

As for today, I will take a long run and work on picking up the pieces.

OH YA My Book is a PAPERBACK!!!

my book

So I was pretty excited when this arrived. I ripped it out of the UPS man’s hands with extreme velocity. I was very emotional.

After asking him if he knew what it was (which was a rhetorical question) and watching his face distort with confusion I informed him that it was indeed my first book. That’s when he looked at me and said, “Well that’s good.”

He needed to know. I mean this is the first time I held any work I had done in my hands and was able to reflect on it. This moment will never happen again! At least not with it being the very first book I ever wrote.

Now putting aside the fact that I am overly picky and have a tendency to dissect every single thing I write (I’m already going through it again wanting to change it!) it is a good book. I’m proud of it and the storyline is definitely an attention grabber. I have a hard time letting a story go and officially being done with it so that alone takes work on my part! 🙂

I think it is wonderful. The characters are likable and the situations they find themselves dealing with are believable. I enjoyed writing it and I hope many will enjoy reading it.

There are two versions available on Amazon.com. One is the Kindle version the other the paperback! The paperback will be officially available by the end of this week. I hope many of you consider purchasing my book.

As of right now I have other projects in the works but no timeline. I can’t wait to see what I can come up with next!