Dear Baby E 

I’m ready for you. 

I always have been. 

As I sit and watch people I know having their babies it makes me very anxious and excited while waiting for your arrival into the world. I am 35 weeks pregnant with you as I write this and let me tell you, it’s been a wonderful experience. 

I remember the day your Dad and I found out about you. I had taken a pregnancy test first thing in the morning before we both left for work. I did the business, then walked out of the bathroom and into our bedroom to pace back and forth awaiting the results. Your Dad, waited patiently downstairs. As you will see he has an ability to be more patient then I do… I hope you acquire some of that. 

When I picked up the test and saw 2 lines I praised God and thanked Him for you immediately. We were both very excited! Though we remained cautious, after losing your brother or sister before you, we anxiously continued on this journey into the unknown and parenthood. 

Yes you had a sibling but I think you know that. 

There is a part of our first baby that is within you. You will forever be linked. Now I can look at that experience and know that I went through all of the hurt and found a light at the end of the long tunnel. It was you. 

When I think of you I feel many emotions at once. I have so many thoughts… I try to manipulate my mind to picture your face, personality, your childhood, and anything else possible. Obviously I can’t but there are a few things I do know.

You are loved. 

More than you can imagine. You are the best of both your Dad and myself. Our greatest accomplishment in this life. 

You will be my everything. 

You will also be your fathers. You are the reason we live now. Thinking of this makes me cry but it’s only because I feel so strongly.

You will never be alone.

We will be by your side every step of the way. No matter what you can come to us and we will guide you through anything and everything you will face in this life. That is a promise that will be kept until we are no longer on this earth. 

You are special, you matter, and you can do anything.

Keep this in mind. Your voice is your power. Your knowledge is also that, apply it to many areas of your life and watch in amazement the changes that take place. Your Dad is smart in many ways and is such a hard worker. His ability to wear many hats has gotten us through many times and he has always taken care of me.  I have an ability to write and over time gained knowledge and much life experience. My ability to talk with people and share pieces of my heart to help others is something that has never failed me and is a big part of who I am. You will inherit these parts of both of us. They are what make you stand out, use them.
Lastly, you should know that I’m sorry for rushing you along these past couple of weeks. I just can’t wait anymore. We are both ecstatic to meet you, love you, and care for you. Please only come when you’re ready, and know that we will be waiting. 

We are ready for you. 


I’m Pregnant and I’m Crying 

That’s right.

I blame it all on the hormones. These past couple of months have been a whirlwind of emotion. I swear the moment of conception there was a switch that turned my eyes into tear factories.

Not that I mind though… 🙂

I’m happy to be sad, I’m happy to be mad, and I’m happy to be happy. There is a human growing in my belly after all!

However, I do wish sometimes I was able to turn it off… I have figured out a few of my pregnancy triggers and have managed to work around them.

1. Animals- The good, the bad, and the ugly.

2. Small children- they just make me emotional. I start thinking of what my child will be like and also how fast she will grow.. And that she will leave me someday…

3. Diary Queen- Ice cream makes me a bipolar basket case. If it’s good then I smile the whole time and talk to my husband about how wonderful it is. But when it’s bad… Let’s just say after getting my hot fudge sundae wrong twice the girl at the counter had a less than favorable experience with The Beast.

4. Certain People- This one is the most awkward. I cry because I love them so much and I really am happy they are in my life. It just happens and most of the time I get a hug out of it, sometimes I get a WTF look and they walk away. Really that’s okay too.

So here is my little list. I’m not sure what every other pregnant woman’s is but I know for damn sure there is one.

We are all crazy after all 🙂

Changes Are on the Horizon ….

I realized today that I haven’t been on top of my writing game. I usually hit it pretty hard and make a special time for just myself and my laptop.

The past couple of months have been so exhausting… No, I haven’t started a new workout plan nor have I taken on any other commitments, well besides growing a human.  Holy sh*t it’s tiring.

I’m so excited to be tired though. Only last year I was facing a few fertility hurtles and contemplating my future. I know that all of my attempts (and my husbands)  were part of this beautiful miracle. 🙂

As Drake would say,” We started from the bottom now we here.”

Let me tell you, we are definitely here. 🙂

My writing goals as of now are simple. I would like to continue to blog ( and make it more timely) while working on a new book.

If baby happens to change my plans so be it. If I only ever have one book I’m okay with that. Why?

The reasoning behind that is incredibly lucid. Sometimes life has other plans for us. I don’t want to completely give up my passions and I don’t feel that I will have too, but I’m willing to sideline them for awhile.

Family is important to me. If that means taking a break, I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t want to miss a moment.

So I will continue to write down my ideas on the go, with a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream in my other hand, deeply contemplating my exciting new future.