It’s Finally Here!

Today my book is available on Amazon!

I’m excited just to see it there. I caught myself staring at the screen a few times just because my name was on it and my hard work was available to the world.

I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be I’m rather elated! I also am ready to hear the positive and negative feedback. All reviews are welcome!

Please go grab it and give it a read!

IMG_3786.PNG

Check Out My Book On Wattpad!

images

So…I found this new app called Wattpad and I tell you it’s the best thing if you are into reading.

There are many different kinds of genres available. It’s like having access to a free virtual library! Some of the books are unedited or in the process of, some are by authors, and there are also pieces of ones in the works. It’s an interesting way of finding new material and escaping the “traditional reads”.

While using social media and reader friendly platforms I have been able to share the news about my book. Along the way I have come across fellow creative thinkers that also had a hand in making this possible. Wattpad will definitely continue to be useful in my future.

If you have the time to check it out I highly suggest that you do and swing by my profile. Check out a first glimpse at “Because of You” for free! We all love freebies!

http://www.wattpad.com/story/20901629-because-of-you

“Because of You”

Writing is the easy part. The most challenging is trying to market your material the right way, to the target audience.
My first book, “Because of You” will be out this fall as an ebook on Amazon. I am nervous, excited and anxious to name a few of the emotions flying around!
Do you write? Do you have good marketing strategies?
I’m looking for ways to get my book out there. Feel free to leave comments especially if you’re a fellow writer! I’m willing to consider guest bloggers, and also would love a chance to become one myself! 🙂
We are all in this together so any help or feedback would be great!

I Lost My Baby, But I’m Still Here

To lose someone you know is hard. You can run into many triggers along the way. It may be something as simple as a song on the radio that will send you back in time and make you relive your memories whether good or bad.
To lose someone that you’ve never met can be worse, especially if they are growing inside of you. You have so many ideas of them, so many things to say to them, and then you can’t. As far as triggers are concerned it’s you.
My body is a daily reminder of what happened which is worse than any song. I can’t turn it down and I can’t shut it off. I have to live with it. I also am in fear of it. I now suffer from slight paranoia when it comes to matters of the body’s daily function. I second guess every feeling, stomach ache, and cramp. I am scared to death.
My body and I used to have a rough relationship. I was always mad at it for something. When I was a child it was for not jumping as high as the other kids. In middle school it was for puberty and the fact that my boobs weren’t as big as others were. Lastly in high school it was for not being skinny enough. For years I made it suffer almost withering away to death.
But I’ve healed and grown to accept it for what it was. I was happy with myself. Then it does this… Maybe it’s a sick twisted form of revenge? Or maybe my body is just messed up. One thing is for sure, it’s nothing to me now but an empty whole.
I wanted to starve it, maim it, and make it suffer for what it did at first. But the logical part of me reminded myself it’s not my fault.
Something happened to my little one.
I am a firm believer in fate as well as God. It isn’t until we are dealt an unfortunate hand that we are left with questions. Why me? Why so soon? Just why?
After seeing many forms of love and happiness play out around me (and within my own life) I am sure of God. But after the loss of my unborn child I questioned such power.
Why would He take something so innocent and pure? Why would He take away from me what I wanted so much? Maybe it was his way of saving the baby. There wasn’t something developing just right…
After my visit with the doctor (and plenty of research) that was just it. It could have happened the moment of conception. I did my best to try and stop the miscarriage when it started but could not. I sat in bed powerless while my first chance at motherhood slipped from my grasp.
I understand now that we do not have control of our bodies and neither does God. He is only there to catch us when we fall and push us to our feet. After hearing and reading other personal stories I’m finally coming to terms with the facts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, my husbands, the doctors, or His. These devastating things just happen. Now I am learning how to heal and grieve.
Many people don’t talk about miscarriages. I’m not one of those people. I’m not saying that keeping it to yourself is wrong. YOU do what is best for YOU and YOUR healing process. Each person has their own. It is as unique as fingerprints.
But for me writing and talking are most helpful. By sharing my experience it gives my baby the acknowledgement he/she deserves. As well as being helpful to others. My healing process is slow but gaining speed every single day. I thank God for the people in my life who are right next to me picking up the pieces. I also am thankful for the ones who can’t be but are with me in thought and prayer.
Thank you.
I miss my baby. I dream of it. I cry for it. But I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I keep telling myself that a happy and healthy me, is a better me for another baby. I’m willing to give this another shot. I will never forget my little one but I will be hopeful that I can have another, this time with a better outcome. I am learning to love life again, one smile at a time.