Yes you saw that correctly.
Vacation- an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in traveling/ the action of leaving something one previously occupied.
I like that sound of that definition but you know which one sounds even better?!
Momcation- a break from one’s motherly duties.
We all have this idea, now it’s time to make it a reality. It is a necessity as a parent to find time for yourself. No matter what you choose. I decided that 2019 is going to be my year not to apologize or feel bad about taking time for myself. Here is what I have done to achieve that thus far.
- Yoga, I may not be the most flexible person however its definitely helped me find some inner peace. At least until I get home to screaming children. Namaste.
- Being home, ALONE. Before the twins I could count less than 5 times I had been in my house all by myself. A year later I can say at least close to 8. Still could use more of that. I’ve also thought about investing in ear plugs until then.
- CrossFit, I know what you’re thinking. “Here she goes again with all of that shit.” Well, you’re absolutely right. I won’t elaborate but moving does the mind good while making my ass firmer in the process.
- JEEP WRANGLER, this finally happened. My escape from reality. I cannot wait to drive this thing around with no top and the radio blaring. I meant no top on the Jeep, sicko.
- NEW YORK, I’m going around Christmas with a friend because it’s on my bucket list. Rockefeller plaza and the tree. The Rockettes and me. It’s just a few days.
- Momcation, now here is the struggle. Still not yet in stone but pretty much happening. A beach, a book, 5 days, and alllllll the damn guilt.
Mom guilt is real just like the idea of a momcation. I still can’t completely let go of it. I was doing better at not feeling bad and then it blind sighted me. As mother’s we have so many responsibilities and it’s not that nobody else is capable of taking care of our children, our dishes, our house, it’s just that we won’t let them. So I was asking myself why do I feel guilty for leaving? I know for a fact it’s because I am a control freak mother. Then when I searched for the definition of momcation I felt even worse. Seeing a break from one’s motherly duties just made me feel like I was abandoning my family.
Why do women harbor more guilt from doing things without kids then men do? There are so many reasons and I could go on and on. It all boils down to nature and nurture.
So I decided to look up the definition of dadcation. I couldn’t find one. It would only seem right that there was such a term on Urban Dictionary, there was not. It left me thinking that maybe this idea of a childless retreat into serenity was gaining speed. More women were taking these opportunities which also means more men are willing to step up to the plate. Obviously if the word made it to Urban Dictionary it was really a “thing”. While this particular dictionary has nothing on being as reputable as Webster it does reflect many changes , even if they are less than desirable.
I asked my husband at least 10 times if I should go on this momcation with my friend (which then was just a random idea) and his response was, “I don’t care.” Until one particular on call week he knew the kids were really putting it to me. Between the boys teething and my daughters whining I was dying. I had said how nice it would be to get out of town and go somewhere together. Winter blues were hitting hard and cabin fever was knocking on my door. Knowing how difficult it would be with our children’s current age he said,” That vacation you had talked about, just go. I’m telling you to go.”
I admit I was in need of approval so the guilt wouldn’t be as bad. I didn’t feel so selfish either.
I still am a little nervous to go but I know its going to be the most relaxing thing I can do for myself. We are going to have a busy summer with the twins breaking free from the slug stage and Elena’s activities. After years of doing things for everyone else for as long as I can remember, making this commitment for myself should be effortless. So just like that, it was.
I am happy in the midst of my alone time no matter the time or place. There is no reason why I can’t be happy at the beach as well. With every finger pointing in that direction I’m going to embrace the opportunity. I mom hard and I am lucky to have a husband who can dad hard. It all balances out.
So ladies, summer is going to be here soon and maybe you should start thinking about what you can do for yourself. Also, please don’t feel bad or judged for whatever it is you aspire to do. Just make it a priority.
Beautifully Broken 