“Because of You”

Writing is the easy part. The most challenging is trying to market your material the right way, to the target audience.
My first book, “Because of You” will be out this fall as an ebook on Amazon. I am nervous, excited and anxious to name a few of the emotions flying around!
Do you write? Do you have good marketing strategies?
I’m looking for ways to get my book out there. Feel free to leave comments especially if you’re a fellow writer! I’m willing to consider guest bloggers, and also would love a chance to become one myself! 🙂
We are all in this together so any help or feedback would be great!

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I Lost My Baby, But I’m Still Here

To lose someone you know is hard. You can run into many triggers along the way. It may be something as simple as a song on the radio that will send you back in time and make you relive your memories whether good or bad.
To lose someone that you’ve never met can be worse, especially if they are growing inside of you. You have so many ideas of them, so many things to say to them, and then you can’t. As far as triggers are concerned it’s you.
My body is a daily reminder of what happened which is worse than any song. I can’t turn it down and I can’t shut it off. I have to live with it. I also am in fear of it. I now suffer from slight paranoia when it comes to matters of the body’s daily function. I second guess every feeling, stomach ache, and cramp. I am scared to death.
My body and I used to have a rough relationship. I was always mad at it for something. When I was a child it was for not jumping as high as the other kids. In middle school it was for puberty and the fact that my boobs weren’t as big as others were. Lastly in high school it was for not being skinny enough. For years I made it suffer almost withering away to death.
But I’ve healed and grown to accept it for what it was. I was happy with myself. Then it does this… Maybe it’s a sick twisted form of revenge? Or maybe my body is just messed up. One thing is for sure, it’s nothing to me now but an empty whole.
I wanted to starve it, maim it, and make it suffer for what it did at first. But the logical part of me reminded myself it’s not my fault.
Something happened to my little one.
I am a firm believer in fate as well as God. It isn’t until we are dealt an unfortunate hand that we are left with questions. Why me? Why so soon? Just why?
After seeing many forms of love and happiness play out around me (and within my own life) I am sure of God. But after the loss of my unborn child I questioned such power.
Why would He take something so innocent and pure? Why would He take away from me what I wanted so much? Maybe it was his way of saving the baby. There wasn’t something developing just right…
After my visit with the doctor (and plenty of research) that was just it. It could have happened the moment of conception. I did my best to try and stop the miscarriage when it started but could not. I sat in bed powerless while my first chance at motherhood slipped from my grasp.
I understand now that we do not have control of our bodies and neither does God. He is only there to catch us when we fall and push us to our feet. After hearing and reading other personal stories I’m finally coming to terms with the facts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, my husbands, the doctors, or His. These devastating things just happen. Now I am learning how to heal and grieve.
Many people don’t talk about miscarriages. I’m not one of those people. I’m not saying that keeping it to yourself is wrong. YOU do what is best for YOU and YOUR healing process. Each person has their own. It is as unique as fingerprints.
But for me writing and talking are most helpful. By sharing my experience it gives my baby the acknowledgement he/she deserves. As well as being helpful to others. My healing process is slow but gaining speed every single day. I thank God for the people in my life who are right next to me picking up the pieces. I also am thankful for the ones who can’t be but are with me in thought and prayer.
Thank you.
I miss my baby. I dream of it. I cry for it. But I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I keep telling myself that a happy and healthy me, is a better me for another baby. I’m willing to give this another shot. I will never forget my little one but I will be hopeful that I can have another, this time with a better outcome. I am learning to love life again, one smile at a time.

When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going!

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I saw this picture on  Facebook the other day. I then proceeded to post it on my Author Page, share it on  my own personal  page, and also post it here. Why?

It’s simple really. This is a very true statement that I can personally relate to as most of you can also. It took a lot of courage for me to step out of the routine work world and into the crazy (sometimes unstable) writing arena. I sat for months doubting my talent and convincing myself that it wasn’t worth it because there was no  guarantee for success. I also had pounded into my head that it wasn’t the most reliable source of income, a road less traveled around here, blah, blah…

It was then that it hit me, I was letting people’s opinions become my own. I started telling myself these things already dooming any attempt I would make. I was  preparing for failure when I hadn’t even began.

How do you think people become successful? How do you think people achieve happiness, greatness, self-assuredness, and all the things others so desperately want? They quit listening to peoples shit, their own personal shit, and do something.

I had told people for the past 4 years that I loved to write and that I was working on a book. Well most of my books became “trunk novels” and I never pushed past the barriers I needed to. Until one day I realized that I was unhappy because I wasn’t doing what I should be doing and I was letting other people (myself included) persuade me not to.

I finally started in the direction towards my goals and haven’t slowed down. It is easy to succeed in something you believe in. At the end of  the day you have your  own support and faith  in your talents. I will admit it is a slow  go at first. I felt for the first couple of weeks that it was a bad idea.  But I refused to go crawling back to the pathetic and unhappy state I was in before, I just kept going forward.  Yes, it is work everyday and sometimes takes a bit before the finished product (book) is released and you can reap the benefits. People  will  question you and try to bring you down. They will ask you if it is worth spending your money, time, and effort. The reason  they ask such things is because they are secretly jealous . You had the balls to follow a dream and they didn’t. But it is all worth it because it is yours. YOUR hard work, YOUR passion, YOUR dream made into reality.

Don’t ever doubt yourself, take a leap of faith. You may hit a few rocks, but you will  find your wings on the way down.

 

 

 

Would You?

If you knew what I knew could you handle the truth?
Could you see yourself through my eyes, could you see what I do?
Would you change for the better? Maybe be less self-involved?
Would you finally say you’re sorry and mean it?
Would all our problems be resolved?

In the perfect world you would do these things and everything would be fine.
The clock wouldn’t be ticking so fast and I wouldn’t waste anymore time.